I guess I should go back to the beginning. About a month or so ago I noticed that my right nipple was different. It was like it was broken. I would get cold and it would not get hard. My left one would be doing it's thing but the left one would just be flat. No matter how cold I got, it just sorta sat there and did nothing. Then I suspected it was getting a little inverted. But honestly I think that was just my imagination starting to run away. I must have read something somewhere about inverted nipples. Mine was just sorta flat and lifeless.
I just had a mammogram in March but I was concerned enough that I called mid-September for a diagnostic mammogram. My appointment was Wednesday, September 24. I went in for the mammo and they decided to do a sonogram. The radiologist was adamant that there was nothing to worry about but just to be SURE he wanted me to get a biopsy. He was a nice guy. He talked with me, held my hand and looked me in the eye. He explained that he did see a little something. He also said he saw a difference between the two breasts. For those reasons, just to be safe, let's get a sonogram-assisted biopsy. He said that he would be completely honest with me and if he was concerned he would tell me...but that he was not.
My biopsy was scheduled for 1:30 on Monday 9/29 but they had to push it back to 2:45 the same day. Fine with me. I was in no hurry for the pain that I knew the procedure involved. I was a little early and had to wait in the waiting room for, oh, I don't know...maybe 3 minutes. By 3:00 I was all numbed up from a big needle of numbing juice...truly the only painful part and it was over quick. By now the doctor performing the biopsy has blown into the room. His name is Dr. Spigal. He took a couple samples and went back to his table/counter. He was quiet for a while. Meanwhile, I am tapping my toe because I have to go get the kids from school at 3:30 (they said it would only take about 10 minutes). Then he came back to me and said he wanted more samples. Snap, snap, snap and back to his table. With his back still to me he asked me what Dr. deLeon had told me. I explained that Dr. deLeon said he was not worried but ordered the biopsy just to be sure.
This is where is gets just sorta surreal. Dr. Spigal says to me "Well, I would be worried if I were you". He said that he believed in being very honest and factual. He said that he has been doing this for a long time and this is his specialty. He felt very sure that I would be getting bad news. He was very no-nonsense, very blunt. He said that based on what he saw it looked like cancer to him. He wanted me to have a couple days to get my brain around it so that when he called me on Wednesday I would already have had time to get used to the idea. Of course, he did say he could be wrong. I hope he is.
That was 30 hours ago. Tomorrow is Wednesday. I have slept maybe 3 hours. The waiting is torture.
