I was born Maureen. But, from what I understand, my nickname "Mimi" came along almost immediately. Story has it that my mom didn't love the nickname "Mo". And, as I am the 5th daughter, my mom declared "No Mo"....as in, no mo' kids and no Mo as a nickname. Funny. Anyway, Mimi stuck for 24 years. Then I moved to Texas and became, for this first time in my life, Maureen...or Mo (which I like, especially if I am fond of the person calling me by that moniker).
So for nearly 20 years, in Texas, I was Maureen - or Mo. Sometimes also Moonpie or Maureenie or Coo Coo. Seriously. But mostly Maureen.
Now I am back in Michigan. Without skipping a beat, I am back to Mimi. People I meet at the kid's school say "Hi Mimi" to me in the halls (thanks to my sister). People I do not remember meeting call me Mimi. Of course, being back in town I see aquaintances from long, long ago and they all call me Mimi.
I like it. It feels welcoming and familiar and comfortable.
Problem is...I can't remember my own name. I automatically say Maureen.
Then the confusion starts all over again...
This doesn't really pass the "so what" test. But I love having such inconsequential things on my mind. :-)
xoxo
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Shameless....
...using my blog to reach the tens of you reading. tee hee Sorry....I can't help it.....it is a great cause.
Will you sponsor me?
http://www.the3day.org/site/TR?px=4693263&fr_id=1467&pg=personal
xoxo
Will you sponsor me?
http://www.the3day.org/site/TR?px=4693263&fr_id=1467&pg=personal
xoxo
count down......for sure this time!
I am so excited to say that I only have 3 more infusions to go...for real this time. I do not see my oncologist extending them again or changing them or adding new ones. I am doing fantastic! The only slightly distressing thing was when I told her how excited I was to get my port out...and that I wanted to get the procedure scheduled. Her response was "No". She told me that she wants me to wait until all my scans are done in August before I get the port out. Okey-dokey. lol I do understand. And I can certainly wait three more months for the port removal. No biggie. I am still on cloud 9 that the end of the treatments is near and I can get back to normal as much as possible!
As I have said many times before, I wish I could reach out and touch each of you the way you have me. You, my dear friends and family, have carried me for so long now. I look forward to a nice rest for all of us. Thank you for your unwavering love and support. You are all my heroes!
xoxo
As I have said many times before, I wish I could reach out and touch each of you the way you have me. You, my dear friends and family, have carried me for so long now. I look forward to a nice rest for all of us. Thank you for your unwavering love and support. You are all my heroes!
xoxo
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
evening prayers
Angelica's evening prayers last night...
Thank you Jesus for our dogs...
...and for my mom
....and for our mailbox
Amen
So glad I made the cut.
xoxo
Thank you Jesus for our dogs...
...and for my mom
....and for our mailbox
Amen
So glad I made the cut.
xoxo
Sunday, March 7, 2010
craft time
Oscar had a friend over last night for a sleep over. So Angelica and I had some special girl time. As we were trying to think of something fun to do, she asked if we could paint. Sure, I said. In fact, I told her we could paint some rocks (something I loved to do as a kid). I went out to dig through what is left of the snow to find some rocks for us to paint. When I came back inside I found Angelica painting like crazy with brown paint on a piece of paper....she was goin' to town! I looked at at her "masterpiece" to find a bunch of brown circles. I asked her what she was doing...and she said "Painting rocks!!". Hilarious!!!
Love this girl!!
xoxo
Love this girl!!
xoxo
Lent
Oddie gave up chewing up our house for Lent. One more reason I will cherish these 40 days.
xoxo
xoxo
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
It's all a blur
Driving the kids to school this morning all I could think about was...."Oh my gosh, I live in Michigan now. I am cancer free. I had cancer???...seriously??? When did that happen? How did I get to this point in my life?" It was surreal. Really. I just kept thinking about the last couple years in utter amazement.
The point is: I am really happy. Most days I am so so so very happy. Other days I am just content...such a lovely place to be. And EVERY day I am grateful. Not forced grateful but truly grateful...right down to my very core. It is just a pure state of mind for me. Is this one of the enigmatic "gifts" that are so often talked about by survivors? I guess it is part of that secret handshake. :) I read about the "gifts" and listened to people talk about the "gifts". And, truth be told, sometimes I would get annoyed by the "gifts" talk. But now I get it. Like a light bulb going off. Trying to describe it is like trying to explain the color blue to a person blind since birth. It is so esoteric but oh so very good.
Of course I still get crabby with the kids or irritated by the painfully slow waitress or irked by the rude store clerk. Even that makes me happy because it is just so damn normal. lol
One of the best parts of life these days is work. I realize now what a significant part of my life my work is. I love my job. I adore the people I work for and with. I would love it all more if I could get my foot in the door at ArvinMeritor or Lear or BorgWarner or Visteon. :-) I may not have a nobel profession like being a teacher or doctor or firefighter...but I do help companies and I do good consulting work....and I love my job. It is another......ut oh.......oh no............don't say it.........aughhhhhhhh.....I can't help it.............It is another GIFT!!
xoxo
The point is: I am really happy. Most days I am so so so very happy. Other days I am just content...such a lovely place to be. And EVERY day I am grateful. Not forced grateful but truly grateful...right down to my very core. It is just a pure state of mind for me. Is this one of the enigmatic "gifts" that are so often talked about by survivors? I guess it is part of that secret handshake. :) I read about the "gifts" and listened to people talk about the "gifts". And, truth be told, sometimes I would get annoyed by the "gifts" talk. But now I get it. Like a light bulb going off. Trying to describe it is like trying to explain the color blue to a person blind since birth. It is so esoteric but oh so very good.
Of course I still get crabby with the kids or irritated by the painfully slow waitress or irked by the rude store clerk. Even that makes me happy because it is just so damn normal. lol
One of the best parts of life these days is work. I realize now what a significant part of my life my work is. I love my job. I adore the people I work for and with. I would love it all more if I could get my foot in the door at ArvinMeritor or Lear or BorgWarner or Visteon. :-) I may not have a nobel profession like being a teacher or doctor or firefighter...but I do help companies and I do good consulting work....and I love my job. It is another......ut oh.......oh no............don't say it.........aughhhhhhhh.....I can't help it.............It is another GIFT!!
xoxo
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Aspirin
This study is from reputable institutions. No need to read the whole article unless you are an insomniac. Suffice to say ... I have to go now. Running to the drugstore. :-)
Aspirin Benefit Seen in Established Breast Cancer
Chalk up another use for aspirin: The drug appears to substantially reduce breast cancer survivors' risk of metastasis and death, researchers found. An aspirin at least two days a week significantly reduced breast cancer death risk by 64% to 71%, Michelle D. Holmes, MD, DrPH, of the Channing Laboratory at Harvard and Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, and colleagues reported online in the Journal of Clinical Oncology.
The risk reduction for distant metastasis in breast cancer survivors taking aspirin at least two days a week was a significant 43% to 60% in the analysis of the Nurses' Health Study data through 2006.This cut the risk of death from any cause nearly in half, Holmes' group noted.These results could have "considerable clinical importance," they wrote, given the drug's relatively benign adverse effects compared with cancer chemotherapy agents as well as its other benefits in preventing colon cancer, cardiovascular disease, and stroke. These findings were "all the more notable because the Nurses' Health Study did not find an association between aspirin use and breast cancer incidence," Holmes' group wrote.Prevention of metastasis may be different, they said. Aspirin and other nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) nonselectively block Cox-2 overexpression, which has been linked to metastasis of breast cancer, and also lower serum estradiol. The anti-inflammatory effect of aspirin might itself hold benefits against cancer, added Lori Pierce, MD, of the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, who commented on behalf of the American Society of Clinical Oncology. However, she cautioned that aspirin isn't risk-free, noting it can cause GI bleeding. Nevertheless, "these are promising findings, and if they are confirmed in additional clinical trials, physicians may be able to regularly recommend aspirin to their breast cancer patients to reduce risk of cancer spread and mortality," she wrote in a prepared statement.Further study is needed to determine the mechanism and also to prospectively confirm the benefit, the investigators agreed.
The analysis included responses from 4,164 female registered nurses diagnosed with early stage breast cancer between 1976 and 2002 with follow-up through death or June 2006.Aspirin use assessments in the first year after diagnosis were excluded since the drug is discouraged during chemotherapy.Among these women who survived for more than a year after diagnosis, those who used aspirin more were less likely to subsequently die from breast cancer (P<0.001 for trend).Compared with women who never used aspirin, the multivariate adjusted relative risk of breast cancer death was:Similar for past users (RR 0.88, 95% confidence interval 0.64 to 1.22)Similar for those with current use one day a week (RR 1.07, 95% CI 0.70 to 1.63)Significantly lower for current two to five days-a week use (RR 0.29, 95% CI 0.16 to 0.52)Significantly lower for current use six or seven days a week (RR 0.36, 95% CI 0.24 to 0.54)For distant recurrence risk, the results were much the same (P=0.03 for trend).The multivariate adjusted metastasis risks compared with women who never used aspirin was not reduced significantly with past (RR 1.03) or current one day a week use (RR 0.91) but was with two to five (RR 0.40, 95% CI 0.24 to 0.65) and six to seven days a week use (RR 0.57, 95% CI 0.39 to 0.82).For overall mortality, the results were just as good (P=0.004 for trend), with multivariate-adjusted risk reductions of 47% for two to five day a week use (RR 0.53, 95% CI 0.37 to 0.76) and 46% for daily or nearly daily use (RR 0.54, 95% CI 0.41 to 0.70).However, this appeared to be accounted for by the reductions in breast cancer-related deaths, the researchers noted.Despite low statistical power, they found a suggestion of a breast cancer survival advantage with other NSAIDs but not with acetaminophen (Tylenol)."The lack of association with acetaminophen suggests that the associations seen with aspirin and NSAIDs may represent biologically plausible effects and not just confounding by indication," Holmes and colleagues wrote in the JCO paper.They cautioned, though, that the study was limited by use of self-reporting for aspirin intake, treatment, and distant recurrence.Nor did the study have any information on aspirin dose, although most regular use was likely for heart disease prevention at the 81 mg/day level, they suggested.And, although most breast cancer patients live at least five years, the results may be generalizable only to longer-term breast cancer survivors, they added.
Aspirin Benefit Seen in Established Breast Cancer
Chalk up another use for aspirin: The drug appears to substantially reduce breast cancer survivors' risk of metastasis and death, researchers found. An aspirin at least two days a week significantly reduced breast cancer death risk by 64% to 71%, Michelle D. Holmes, MD, DrPH, of the Channing Laboratory at Harvard and Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, and colleagues reported online in the Journal of Clinical Oncology.
The risk reduction for distant metastasis in breast cancer survivors taking aspirin at least two days a week was a significant 43% to 60% in the analysis of the Nurses' Health Study data through 2006.This cut the risk of death from any cause nearly in half, Holmes' group noted.These results could have "considerable clinical importance," they wrote, given the drug's relatively benign adverse effects compared with cancer chemotherapy agents as well as its other benefits in preventing colon cancer, cardiovascular disease, and stroke. These findings were "all the more notable because the Nurses' Health Study did not find an association between aspirin use and breast cancer incidence," Holmes' group wrote.Prevention of metastasis may be different, they said. Aspirin and other nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) nonselectively block Cox-2 overexpression, which has been linked to metastasis of breast cancer, and also lower serum estradiol. The anti-inflammatory effect of aspirin might itself hold benefits against cancer, added Lori Pierce, MD, of the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, who commented on behalf of the American Society of Clinical Oncology. However, she cautioned that aspirin isn't risk-free, noting it can cause GI bleeding. Nevertheless, "these are promising findings, and if they are confirmed in additional clinical trials, physicians may be able to regularly recommend aspirin to their breast cancer patients to reduce risk of cancer spread and mortality," she wrote in a prepared statement.Further study is needed to determine the mechanism and also to prospectively confirm the benefit, the investigators agreed.
The analysis included responses from 4,164 female registered nurses diagnosed with early stage breast cancer between 1976 and 2002 with follow-up through death or June 2006.Aspirin use assessments in the first year after diagnosis were excluded since the drug is discouraged during chemotherapy.Among these women who survived for more than a year after diagnosis, those who used aspirin more were less likely to subsequently die from breast cancer (P<0.001 for trend).Compared with women who never used aspirin, the multivariate adjusted relative risk of breast cancer death was:Similar for past users (RR 0.88, 95% confidence interval 0.64 to 1.22)Similar for those with current use one day a week (RR 1.07, 95% CI 0.70 to 1.63)Significantly lower for current two to five days-a week use (RR 0.29, 95% CI 0.16 to 0.52)Significantly lower for current use six or seven days a week (RR 0.36, 95% CI 0.24 to 0.54)For distant recurrence risk, the results were much the same (P=0.03 for trend).The multivariate adjusted metastasis risks compared with women who never used aspirin was not reduced significantly with past (RR 1.03) or current one day a week use (RR 0.91) but was with two to five (RR 0.40, 95% CI 0.24 to 0.65) and six to seven days a week use (RR 0.57, 95% CI 0.39 to 0.82).For overall mortality, the results were just as good (P=0.004 for trend), with multivariate-adjusted risk reductions of 47% for two to five day a week use (RR 0.53, 95% CI 0.37 to 0.76) and 46% for daily or nearly daily use (RR 0.54, 95% CI 0.41 to 0.70).However, this appeared to be accounted for by the reductions in breast cancer-related deaths, the researchers noted.Despite low statistical power, they found a suggestion of a breast cancer survival advantage with other NSAIDs but not with acetaminophen (Tylenol)."The lack of association with acetaminophen suggests that the associations seen with aspirin and NSAIDs may represent biologically plausible effects and not just confounding by indication," Holmes and colleagues wrote in the JCO paper.They cautioned, though, that the study was limited by use of self-reporting for aspirin intake, treatment, and distant recurrence.Nor did the study have any information on aspirin dose, although most regular use was likely for heart disease prevention at the 81 mg/day level, they suggested.And, although most breast cancer patients live at least five years, the results may be generalizable only to longer-term breast cancer survivors, they added.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Please consider helping
When we moved into this neighborhood, we were instantly and warmly welcomed by the people across the street. They are great people...really great. Their whole family is so kind. I soon found out that this lovely new neighbor, Dr. Craig Bowman, had just undergone 9 months of chemotherapy only to be told that the cancer cells have multiplied and a bone marrow transplant is urgently needed.
But he needs a bone marrow donor.
What I have since learned about this process is that finding a match is a bit of a numbers game, hence the more that register, the better the chances that a match will be found for Craig.
Please consider becoming a donor...please.
If you are interested in becoming a bone marrow donor, please go to marrow.org. Click on the "Join" button to the far left inside the navy blue box. It's a simple 3 step process to register.
Should you be a match, it's a quick painless procedure much like donating blood.
Please prayerfully consider becoming a donor.
You could be the one!
xoxo
p.s. Post if you would like to get a message to Craig and I will make that happen.
But he needs a bone marrow donor.
What I have since learned about this process is that finding a match is a bit of a numbers game, hence the more that register, the better the chances that a match will be found for Craig.
Please consider becoming a donor...please.
If you are interested in becoming a bone marrow donor, please go to marrow.org. Click on the "Join" button to the far left inside the navy blue box. It's a simple 3 step process to register.
Should you be a match, it's a quick painless procedure much like donating blood.
Please prayerfully consider becoming a donor.
You could be the one!
xoxo
p.s. Post if you would like to get a message to Craig and I will make that happen.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Bunch of damn turkeys!
No, seriously, a bunch of turkeys! lol
(bet you thought I was talking about the IRS)
Here they are running from me. Who looked like the turkey?
xoxo
(bet you thought I was talking about the IRS)
Here they are running from me. Who looked like the turkey?
xoxo
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Calling all you creative minds!
Megan and I are starting to plan the 3-Day Walk for Breast Cancer. We have to think of a team name.
Any suggestions? Keep it clean. Or not. :-)
xoxo
Any suggestions? Keep it clean. Or not. :-)
xoxo
Saturday, January 30, 2010
My new men
I am meeting lots of great guys here in Michigan. Not sure yet which one I will pick for my beau.
Synchronized wheels chairs from the local hospital ...
Gorgeous HUGE draft horse teams...
Actually, as I strive to catch up on my posting, I wanted to share some pictures of the Rochester Christmas Parade, the largest parade in Michigan... thank you very much!! lol
It was a blast!!! We saw....
Synchronized wheels chairs from the local hospital ...
Gorgeous HUGE draft horse teams...Thousands of people...as far as the eye could see...
And Santa...the REAL one...
Thanks for letting me share.
xoxo
p.s. Place your vote....beau # 1 or beau # 2. lol
Living a charmed life!
Happy Saturday morning! Sorry I don't post as much.
Honestly, I am so damn boring these days ... and profoundly grateful for it! I am healthy and happy and living an eventless existence. other than those astonishing little miracles I am privileged to experience multiple times each day. Like Angelica having a giggle fit as she puts glitter on her new little friend's face. And Oscar sitting here next to me perfecting his wink at me - with BOTH eyes! Or the deer that were munching our shrubs as we watched and whispered at our window last night....thrilling! Or watching the kitten take Oddie down as they wrestle...hilarious.
Or this upside down rainbow we saw in the sky on a perfectly sunny day not too long ago! Stunning!
My heart is really full. I praise God and am so grateful. Thank you for letting me share.
xoxo
Honestly, I am so damn boring these days ... and profoundly grateful for it! I am healthy and happy and living an eventless existence. other than those astonishing little miracles I am privileged to experience multiple times each day. Like Angelica having a giggle fit as she puts glitter on her new little friend's face. And Oscar sitting here next to me perfecting his wink at me - with BOTH eyes! Or the deer that were munching our shrubs as we watched and whispered at our window last night....thrilling! Or watching the kitten take Oddie down as they wrestle...hilarious.
Or this upside down rainbow we saw in the sky on a perfectly sunny day not too long ago! Stunning!
This is one of my favorite, breathtaking sights since living here in Michigan. It was morning and the moon was SETTING. Of course this photo doesn't come close to capturing how incredible it was but it will remind me of what I saw. The full moon was HUGE as it sunk down. So cool to see.
My heart is really full. I praise God and am so grateful. Thank you for letting me share.
xoxo
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Mambo dog!
In case you missed it on Telemundo, here it is for your enjoyment. LOL Actually, this has gone viral so it may be old news by now but it made me really laugh! LOVE how happy this dog is!!!
xoxo
xoxo
Sunday, January 17, 2010
On this Lord's day...
...continued prayers for the people of Haiti and people all over the earth that are suffering. I get so worked up, as do all of you I am sure. Hitting the "Donate" key felt good but it is TOO easy. Oh how I wish I could do something to make a difference.
xoxo
xoxo
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Crosses
Megan sent me this along with the text below. I really like it!
We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot.
Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine after the rain...
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call....
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light...
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, to give you His grace,
and send you His love.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
xoxo
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Lagniappe
There have been so many fun activities this past fall and winter...and it has only just begun! I think one of my favorites is our sledding outtings, which I have no pictures of because it is all too fast moving. They are serious about their sledding here. Our favorite place is called Lost Lake. It is a very short drive from our house...a gorgeous drive down dirt roads and through some very woodsy areas until you see a little sign that says "Lost Lake". You drive back, park and walk a bit to a HUGE hill. It used to be a skiing hill but now it is just for sledding. Seems like not very many people know about it. Our first trip out we had the place to ourselves. It is just a huge hill out in the woods...so serene and peaceful and quiet, except for the piercing, guttural screams of terror as my kids hurtled down the hill at break neck speeds. LOL I will bring a camera next time. You gotta see this place!
One of the other really great things we did that I want to share is Lagniappe. Megan, Molly, Kyle, Reid, Oscar Angelica and I all went and had a great time! Lagniappe (Creole for "a little something extra") kicks-off the holiday season in Downtown Rochester in conjunction with their "Big, Bright Light Show". It is awesome. All the stores hand out "a little something"...nothing like free stuff to bring out hoards of people. There is music and carolers and even Rudolf was there, although apparently he was aggressive because there were "handlers" around his enclosure making sure no one got too close to him!
I am not sure who this guy is but he is photogenic.
We had a great time...look at those faces!
xoxo
One of the other really great things we did that I want to share is Lagniappe. Megan, Molly, Kyle, Reid, Oscar Angelica and I all went and had a great time! Lagniappe (Creole for "a little something extra") kicks-off the holiday season in Downtown Rochester in conjunction with their "Big, Bright Light Show". It is awesome. All the stores hand out "a little something"...nothing like free stuff to bring out hoards of people. There is music and carolers and even Rudolf was there, although apparently he was aggressive because there were "handlers" around his enclosure making sure no one got too close to him!
All of the buildings are draped in lights, each one a different color. And I mean draped...they are COVERED with tiny colorful lights, each one its own color. Once it gets dark, they throw the switch and they all come on at once. Then everyone signs holiday songs. It was a really great time.
I am so impressed by this town!
I am not sure who this guy is but he is photogenic.
We had a great time...look at those faces!
xoxo
Friday, January 8, 2010
Scientific studies...
Okay, I have validated 2 hypothesis that I have had for many years:
- It truly is less cold when there is snow on the ground. It doesn't matter if it is 30 degrees with snow and without snow. When there is snow on the ground, it is LESS cold (maybe more bearable?)
- Just because my mini-van has 4 wheels does not mean it is a 4-wheel drive. :-)
Click to enlarge for the full cuteness effect!
xoxo
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Holiday photos
First, let me give my most heartfelt thanks for the outpouring of love after my 1 a.m. posting about fear the other night. You guys are the best and I am so grateful for your support!
I had planned on using some of my time at chemo on Monday to update my blog with holiday photos. You would think that in the 8 hours I was there I could have fit it in (lol) but there were too many distractions. So here I go...pictures!
It is really fun to post these because it was so much fun when the photos were taken! Sorry about the red-eye in some but now that I have upgraded to Office 2007 I have lost that awesome photo editor. Any technical help out there on how to get a photo editor other than Paint as my default? :-) Shameless of me to blog for tech help!
I hope you enjoy. Love to you all!
xoxo
All the kids on Christmas morning. Can you tell Angelica brushed her hair with her pillow?
Oscar, Reid, Kyle, Angelica and, of course, Oddie, playing Twister.
More posts to come in the next day or so from other holiday festivities.
I had planned on using some of my time at chemo on Monday to update my blog with holiday photos. You would think that in the 8 hours I was there I could have fit it in (lol) but there were too many distractions. So here I go...pictures!
It is really fun to post these because it was so much fun when the photos were taken! Sorry about the red-eye in some but now that I have upgraded to Office 2007 I have lost that awesome photo editor. Any technical help out there on how to get a photo editor other than Paint as my default? :-) Shameless of me to blog for tech help!
I hope you enjoy. Love to you all!
xoxo
All the kids on Christmas morning. Can you tell Angelica brushed her hair with her pillow?
Oscar, Reid, Kyle, Angelica and, of course, Oddie, playing Twister. 
More posts to come in the next day or so from other holiday festivities.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Coping
I am hesitant to write again about my fears. For the most part, they are at bay. But every once in a while they will grip me. It's like getting hit really hard in a pillow fight....it whooshes the air right out of my lungs. That sounds like a terrible analogy. But truly it is not like getting hit with a brick. It is more deceiving than that. It comes on soft and then just undoes me.
I have a debilitating fear of dying, not for me but for my children. In the "The Secret" vernacular just by thinking about dying means I am bringing it to me or causing it (for lack of a better description). I am trying hard....very hard....to avoid thinking about it. I don't want to give it energy....don't want to fuel it. I am lucky that positive thinking is more my nature.
The other good news is that the bouts with fear ARE getting less frequent. And nights like tonight when I wake with a start out of a dead sleep and am experiencing that bladder-weakening, heart-stopping fear, I go to each of the kid's rooms to nuzzle their necks with kisses and then climb back into my own bed to visit with my faithful Father. Please God, don't let the cancer come back. I know You have a Master Plan but please, I pray, let me raise my children.
I have a debilitating fear of dying, not for me but for my children. In the "The Secret" vernacular just by thinking about dying means I am bringing it to me or causing it (for lack of a better description). I am trying hard....very hard....to avoid thinking about it. I don't want to give it energy....don't want to fuel it. I am lucky that positive thinking is more my nature.
The other good news is that the bouts with fear ARE getting less frequent. And nights like tonight when I wake with a start out of a dead sleep and am experiencing that bladder-weakening, heart-stopping fear, I go to each of the kid's rooms to nuzzle their necks with kisses and then climb back into my own bed to visit with my faithful Father. Please God, don't let the cancer come back. I know You have a Master Plan but please, I pray, let me raise my children.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Blue moon
I can distinctly remember the last time we had a blue moon. I remember thinking "I wonder where I will be in my life next time there is a blue moon? What will I be doing?" I could have EVER imagined how rich and full and wonderful my life would be.
Enjoy the blue moon on New Year's Eve. Please be careful. I think the wackos will be out in triple force.
Tons of pictures and a big, long post will be coming soon. I am so past due! Thank you for your patience!
Sending my love to you all this holiday and always!
xoxo
Enjoy the blue moon on New Year's Eve. Please be careful. I think the wackos will be out in triple force.
Tons of pictures and a big, long post will be coming soon. I am so past due! Thank you for your patience!
Sending my love to you all this holiday and always!
xoxo
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Chemo today
My dear, sweet friend Janice went to chemo with me today. We have know each other for like 50 years.....or longer. :) It was awesome to actually be able to sit and talk and catch up. There were no kids pulling at our sleeves. No phones ringing. No dogs barking. We actually got to sit and talk to each other. And I cherished it.
She is SO dear to me and made today totally enjoyable...really! Unfortunatley I forgot to have someone take our photo. So here we are not at chemo together. She is the BEST!
xoxo
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Humiliating
Mrs. Kits (aka Cinnamon) got spayed. She is eagerly looking forward to when she can fit through the cat door again. lol
xoxo
p.s. Oh my gosh, I am turning into a cat lady....auuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhh
xoxo
p.s. Oh my gosh, I am turning into a cat lady....auuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhh
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