The Hair Chronicles - Part 1

I am so incredibly excited to be getting my hair back! I never did the wig thing...way too hot & itchy. I have mostly been wearing hats and scarves. My lack of airs made it very bearable to be bald (read: I am kinda a slob & put little effort into my looks through all this, choosing rather to focus on healing). I do have a decent bald head so that helped too (small but well shaped...lol). Thanks God...and Mom and Dad. Really the hardest part about the hair loss for me was the nose hairs. Man, did that bug me!! I missed those little guys filtering out all the cr*p in the air.

I thought would share the chronology with you...so you can continue to share in the follicular journey with me. Part 2 will come when I have a full head to share with y'all. I know you are on the edge of your seat in anticipation. Reading this blog post you might almost think I am hard up for topics to write about. LOL

For now I am shocked and thrilled with how fast my locks are coming back. Must be all the wheat grass I am growing, juicing and drinking. Whodathought I would be happy about having to pluck the unibrow...!

January 2009

Head hair gone, nose hair gone. Still hanging on to a few eyebrows and eyelashes.

May 2009

It's all gone. Eyelashes, eyebrows, arm hair, etc ALL went away around February or March.

Early June 2009

The first of the sprouts. Gray and wispy.

Click to enlarge if you don't believe me. :)

Late June

Oh my gosh...it is growing fast. And seriously swirling in every different direction. Now I understand what they mean by cowlicks. Looks like a whole herd got to me.

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.

~Oliver Herford

I had a long day of radiation and chemo...but an enjoyable time with my friend Danielle who had nearly the same treatments as I did today. I thoroughly enjoy her because she is wonderful and funny and fun to talk with. And she is going through this too so talking with her is therapeutic. Plus we live close to each other and have several mutual friends!

I am tired so heading to bed. Sweet dreams, sweet friends!

xoxo

Weather forecast

Today: HOT
Tomorrow: HOT
All next week: HOT

I am scared. It is only June and we are consistently at or above 100 degrees. My AC cannot keep up and we are all HOT. Looking forward to seeing my electric bill. lol

Just to see if it really is as hot as it feels, the kids and I tried frying an egg on the driveway. It worked! I would send a photo as proof but my camera melted.

xoxo

Pathetic blogger...

I am sorry I have been so lousy at blogging. Nothing much to report. The Grattan's visited and it was DELIGHTFUL...a fun time all around!!!!

I saw Dr. Grant today and he said I could get my port out in November so yahoooo for that. It will be a quick surgery but I do have to have it done at the surgical center. I figured I could pop in his office one afternoon and have him cut it out. Just like I thought I could run out on my lunch hour and take care of this pesky cancer. And how I thought radiation would consist of laying on a steel table for a couple minutes and them shooting the beam in the general chest vicinity. I am starting to think my expectations were (are) a little warped.

I am at an interesting stage with this process. I am still neck deep in treatments, but the cancer is gone. I feel like I am sitting on a fence. I should be happy (or maybe happier?) but I am still afraid. I was able to talk to Dr. Grant a little about it today. He was very kind, compassionate and caring. I wanted statistics. He discouraged me from even going there. He explained that the 2-year mark is a doozy. It is a very important milestone for me. The people that make it 2-years without a reoccurance generally make it 5-years. Statistically speaking, each year is an important cancerversary.

Now, when I quote my doctors, it sometimes spurs on a flurry of e-mails to me from people sharing their thoughts about my doctor's info. I know, I know. Public blog...I am putting myself out there. But please don't. Dr. Grant has vast experience and what he tells me jives perfectly with what Dr. O tells me. I know he is not God. But I respect him and trust him. And I left there today feeling better than I did going in. We had a great visit. Oh and he is pleased with my progress too. :)

I suspect my healing "up here" (pointing to my tiny noggin') will take longer than my healing everywhere else. It may be a daily struggle not to let this beast rule my thoughts. But I have faith. And I trust God. And I have confidence that each day it will occupy less of my gray matter.

xoxo

photos...as promised

Angelica's school picture...such a cutie!



I hesitated all morning about posting Oscar's school picture because, well, because just looking at it rips my heart out. These pictures were taken the week before my operation. I had been feeling bad and Oscar was sad. My heart was so heavy knowing he was struggling. Looking back, I think it was truly the hardest part of this journey so far...for all of us. But mostly my sweet boy.


Everyone can take a bad picture but this photograph tells the story. He was just sad.

But now I am feeling better and so is he. Every day gets better...! The evidence is in the rest of these pictures below. :)






What a difference a month makes!!! I love this child beyond words.















We were such white trash. LOL We went down to the sand to look for shells and guess who ended up in the ocean in their clothes...?!? Angelica in her undies and Oscar in his shorts. So much fun! They are both such a JOY and they are my heart...both of these glorious, precious gifts from God!

Our zoo has a rope "spider web". I wish you could have seen Angelica's face...trying not to laugh...as she laid there like a bug waiting for Spidey Oscar to come eat her

And finally, do you see a theme here??? I came home from radiation a day last week to find this. My 13-year-old babysitter and Oscar BOTH decided to play in the leftover mud from our torrential rains. I was so proud he kept his clothes on!!! lol It was shocking to come home to but they were having a blast! The laughter was contagious. I swear, none of you could have gotten mad either. They were laughing hysterically...! Music to my ears!

Thank you for letting me share. I have some funny video to share to but I need to work up the fortitude to get it into this format. It will be worth it though....it is funny!

xoxo

Sprouts

I woke up the other morning and my eyebrows were back. I swear to you...I looked different waking up than I did going to bed. I am not kidding. And it is not like I didn't notice them before I went to bed. They weren't there!! Now, just to calibrate my exaggerating slightly, let me explain that the hairs have not grown back in fully but there is enough shadow that it looks like they are back. Who cares...I'll take it!!

As far as the top of my head, I am a walking talking Chia Pet. Cha cha cha Chia. Every morning the kids run in to rub my teeny tiny noggin' and squeal about how much more it has grown. If you click on this picture below and enlarge it to around 1000%, then get your magnifying glass and look closely at the area close to Angelica's head rest. Do you see the fuzz?

YAHOOOOOOOOO!!!! With a little more nutrition and time I think I will soon really start to look like my old friend again.

Oh...what a difference 6 months makes. I NEVER want to lose my hair again.

Radiation is going fine. It's a whipping but just like everything else it will be over soon....33 more treatments. I had chemo on Tuesday. It went fine too.

A couple funny things have happened lately that I wanted to share. Laying on the table Tuesday (as machines whirled around me sending photon, electron, proton, neutron, or ion beams to change my DNA and cause hypoxia to any remain microscopic cancer cells left in my chest, arm pit and sternum) the technician put on her music....loud. I work with her each day now and know now that this is her routine. But this was on my first day. The song that came on was The Bee Gees belting out Stayin' Alive. "Ah ah ah ah stay' alive, stayin' alive." Oh my gosh, it was hard to lay still...I was cracking up. I told the tech that she has impeccable taste in songs. Not sure she knew why I was laughing.

The other funny thing is that I am getting pummeled with sales calls and e-mails from this laser hair removal company. I know I am feeling better because now it really makes me laugh. If they only knew how much I was NOT a good prospect for them! Maybe I should just sign up to reward them for sticking with me. lol

xoxo

p.s. I have loads of photos to share. I will post them soon.

Quotes I love...

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".
Mary Ann Radmacher


The only way out is through.
Me (and I am sure many others)

The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. ~unknown

I want to be an outrageous old woman who never gets called an old lady. I want to get leaner, sharp edged & earth colored, 'til I fade away from pure joy!
~unknown


Plant seeds of expectation in your mind; cultivate thoughts that anticipate achievement. Believe in yourself as being capable of overcoming all obstacles and weaknesses.
Norman Vincent Peale


Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure.
Norman Vincent Peale


Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.


I get by with a little help from my friends! (In my case, LOTS of help from my friends...my army!)
John Lennon


Please share some of your favorites with me!

xoxo

One month ago...

Crazy to think that it was a month ago today...this very minute...that Suzanne, Megan and I were playing Scrabble in the waiting room of the hospital. I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life, yet I was strangly calm thanks to my sisters. Or I was calm due thanks to my strange sisters. Something like that! lol

There are not enough words to fully express how much I appreciate all of you!. I will always fall short on my thanks. I could have NEVER made it this far without each of you. Thank you to those who have run in races in my name, lifted me up in prayer, brought us meals, sent me cards & e-mails (and voicequilts :-) ), helped raise money for cancer research, joined me at chemo, and so many countless other acts of kindness towards me and my family! You are my army and I will never forget you!

xoxo

Oscar's song

A while back I posted that amazing Martina McBride song in tribute to my sweet Angelica. I thought I would share with you the song that has been my song for Oscar since the first day I saw his precious face. I went to visit Oscar in Guatemala 7 times during my 6 month adoption, not including my trip to bring him home. Every time I had to leave him was agony...and a part of my heart stayed there with him. But knowing he was so loved by the Vela's made it endurable. I would get back home and play this song over and over...pure torture and always good for a cleansing cry.

This is a Dixie Chicks song but I LOVE the way Radney Foster preforms it! "...God hears Amen wherever we are...and I love you".



Sweet dreams, little man...and to all of you

xoxo

The hip bone's connected to the thigh bone...

I marvel at the human body! It is all so connected and delicate, yet resiliant!

Most days I feel like I am doing really good. I work daily on my stretching, etc. Ever competitive and pushing myself, I want to have my full range of motion back...like yesterday. Ha!

Again, I think I am doing well. But if I use my right arm very much it causes tingling and sometime pure numbness from my shoulder all the way down my arm to the fingertips. It is like I have carpal tunnel or something. I worry about frozen shoulder, hence my push on exercising. I am sure it will go away in time. I think I also have some weird nerve stuff going on too because if I move even slightly the wrong way I feel like I have been poked across the chest with a taser. Shockingly painful but brief.

I saw my Radiology Oncologist last Thursday...for 2 hours. I have to go back tomorrow to see him again for a "planning session". Tomorrow has got to be different from my 2 hour session on Thursday. He needed the full 2 hours to explain all the risks of radiation and how it causes cancer, not unlike the similar risks of chemo. And how my team (Dr. Grant, Dr. O and himself) feel like I am at too high a risk to NOT do radiation. I left there honestly as depressed as I have been in a while. Maybe not depressed...that is the wrong word. More like deflated. I gave myself about a half a day to wallow in it. Then I grabbed the kids and took them to the beach. I will post pictures soon. By the way, I really do like the Radiology Oncologist (despite my tongue in cheek synopsis of our marathon appointment). He is just doing his job by making me aware of all the fine print.

I have come up with an ingenious ploy to get more kisses out of the kids. I tell them if they will kiss me all over my bald head my hair will grow back faster. It seems to be working, although my hair is not growing very fast. lol

These kids of mine are simply remarkable (aren't all kids? yes!). Oscar has been so incredibly caring and loving and careful with me. He is just so awesome. And Angelica too! She cracks me up daily. She wants to play "Princess" all the time now. She lays out all the rules in that cute 3-year-old, bossy way that scares me senseless when I think about her at 13. I am always the princess. She, on the other hand, is another character...different every time. She makes up names for herself. Names like "Caravel" or "Dorba" or today's: "KursaLeeLee". LOL I guess I can understand. I used to call myself Beumadean Scleevage...but not until my late teens. ROFL

xoxo