Wednesday, March 3, 2010

It's all a blur

Driving the kids to school this morning all I could think about was...."Oh my gosh, I live in Michigan now. I am cancer free. I had cancer???...seriously??? When did that happen? How did I get to this point in my life?" It was surreal. Really. I just kept thinking about the last couple years in utter amazement.

The point is: I am really happy. Most days I am so so so very happy. Other days I am just content...such a lovely place to be. And EVERY day I am grateful. Not forced grateful but truly grateful...right down to my very core. It is just a pure state of mind for me. Is this one of the enigmatic "gifts" that are so often talked about by survivors? I guess it is part of that secret handshake. :) I read about the "gifts" and listened to people talk about the "gifts". And, truth be told, sometimes I would get annoyed by the "gifts" talk. But now I get it. Like a light bulb going off. Trying to describe it is like trying to explain the color blue to a person blind since birth. It is so esoteric but oh so very good.

Of course I still get crabby with the kids or irritated by the painfully slow waitress or irked by the rude store clerk. Even that makes me happy because it is just so damn normal. lol

One of the best parts of life these days is work. I realize now what a significant part of my life my work is. I love my job. I adore the people I work for and with. I would love it all more if I could get my foot in the door at ArvinMeritor or Lear or BorgWarner or Visteon. :-) I may not have a nobel profession like being a teacher or doctor or firefighter...but I do help companies and I do good consulting work....and I love my job. It is another......ut oh.......oh no............don't say it.........aughhhhhhhh.....I can't help it.............It is another GIFT!!

xoxo

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

YOU are a gift. Thank you!
Lori

Anonymous said...

LOVE the new picture in your blog. We are so glad you are feeling the way you do. Hugs and kisses,

Liza and Jandy

DFNY said...

How great to see the new photo of you and the kids. (They're getting SO BIG!) And I love the post. Thank God you are feeling well and enjoying your normal life. I'm so happy for you, Maureen.

Blessings to you,
Damaris

Anonymous said...

Love this blog xoxoxoxo
Lets catch up soon
Love Barbara