We got there at 8:30 or so this morning and got home around 3:00ish.
I was very nauseous during the infusion....really yuck. Every smell was totally getting to me. I imagine part of it is psychosomatic. Because I literally get ill just walking into that place.
The people are so nice, my doctor rocks and my nurse, Priscilla, is wonderful. In fact, she had a little tête-à-tête with me today. She said she is a tad worried about me and wanted to make sure I was caring for myself (ie: allowing people to help me, getting counseling, understanding the gravity of the situation). She was loving and just so kind. She truly cares about me and it really touches me. I will write my thoughts on our conversation another time after I have had time to digest all she said.
I was a big baby when they accessed my port. I had numbed it but it still hurt like a booger-bear (oh my gosh, I am talking like one of my kids).
First they use a needle like the one below (only mine is more "bent"...or at an angle)....
tube side
needle side
needle side...and they poke it through the skin into my port which is totally under the skin (see the lump in the picture below. wow, I have a lot of freckles. sorry about the unflattering photo...lol). I thought, before all of this, that when they talked about "accessing my port" that they would hook into a little tube or something that was sticking out of my skin. But nope....it is all under the skin. The port has a little rubber top, like the top on a test tube sorta. They feel around, find the rubber top and poke through the skin and through the rubber with a not-so-little needle.
I was feeling really bad during the process and I am just not sure what triggered it. Like I said, I found it very difficult to walk into that building. And it does completely overwhelm me to think I need to do this every Tuesday for the next couple months. BUT, I have one down and that is a beautiful thing!
As always, thank you so much for your loving support, your well-wishes, your cards/notes/e-mails/text messages/voicemails...and most especially your prayers. I assure you...I FEEL THEM...thank you!!!!
xoxo
9 comments:
Mo- I'm so sorry that this treatment made you so nauseous. I know that the thought of every Tuesday is daunting but I know how incredibly strong you are. We will get you through this mess.
I'm going to echo your nurses words... please ask for help and please take care of yourself. You are entirely too important not to! I love you and I'm praying for you. Kisses,
carrie
Hnm. I would have thought the port would be on the "outside" of the skin too. Maybe someone should invent that. I hate that you feel sick just walking into that place. I wish I could do something about that. Maybe Jerry could have his next team meeting on a Tuesday when you are there. Wouldn't that make it something to look forward to :-)....just kidding Jerry :-)
Much Love, Janet
Hang in their Maureen. I know you are thrilled to have one more poison session behind you! (that's what we call it at our house :-)We all love you and are here to help so please ask anytime!
Julie S
I'll mark my calendar to say extra prayers for you every Tuesday!!!
Love,
Janine
I'm thinking about you as you deal with all of this. I can sense that it's getting harder for you, but you're going to get through it and that port will be gone before you know it! Keep on keepin' on--now I'm off to check out your baldy pics!
I hate the fact that you are going through all of this. You are so strong and so beautiful. I am thinking of you every Tuesday and every day in between.
Boy, I understand how you felt...let me tell you what happened to me on Wed. I had to go for followups etc. which I do regularly. Yesterday, it made me feel sick pulling into the area..I felt that feeling of heading to the chemo lab that I felt for a year and a half...it was so strange I have been out of chemo since July of 2007...I touched my port scar and it was really a scar and not a port and then I just cried. Just try to think of something else as you are going in and get to a peaceful happy place...you are closer and closer each treatment.....your feelings are not unusual....I will say a special prayer for you that the coming treatments will be easier for you mind, body and spirit. Fists up Gal!!
Thinking of you. My husband's psychosomatic symptoms would start the morning of. It's pretty typical. So we requested Marinol to be the first thing given to him right as he arrived. You might look into that. It really cut the anxiety and nausea. Oh my gosh how we feel for you. Prayers for strength and a total cure.
BTW his port was in is arm and had external entry and some tubing sticking out, taped down along his forearm with netting over it. It probably wasn't as painful to enter but always a danger of infection at the entry site, always needing to be flushed with anti coagulant and showering was a b*%ch.
Just wanted to say hello. Came here from a.com
I have a port too but for IV antibiotics that I need to take every so often due to my lung disease. No fun are they! There are some days I regret the decision to get it but overall I know it was the right thing to do! The joys of living with an illness!
Hope you are doing well!
Take care!
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