I am sorry I have been so lousy at blogging. Nothing much to report. The Grattan's visited and it was DELIGHTFUL...a fun time all around!!!!
I saw Dr. Grant today and he said I could get my port out in November so yahoooo for that. It will be a quick surgery but I do have to have it done at the surgical center. I figured I could pop in his office one afternoon and have him cut it out. Just like I thought I could run out on my lunch hour and take care of this pesky cancer. And how I thought radiation would consist of laying on a steel table for a couple minutes and them shooting the beam in the general chest vicinity. I am starting to think my expectations were (are) a little warped.
I am at an interesting stage with this process. I am still neck deep in treatments, but the cancer is gone. I feel like I am sitting on a fence. I should be happy (or maybe happier?) but I am still afraid. I was able to talk to Dr. Grant a little about it today. He was very kind, compassionate and caring. I wanted statistics. He discouraged me from even going there. He explained that the 2-year mark is a doozy. It is a very important milestone for me. The people that make it 2-years without a reoccurance generally make it 5-years. Statistically speaking, each year is an important cancerversary.
Now, when I quote my doctors, it sometimes spurs on a flurry of e-mails to me from people sharing their thoughts about my doctor's info. I know, I know. Public blog...I am putting myself out there. But please don't. Dr. Grant has vast experience and what he tells me jives perfectly with what Dr. O tells me. I know he is not God. But I respect him and trust him. And I left there today feeling better than I did going in. We had a great visit. Oh and he is pleased with my progress too. :)
I suspect my healing "up here" (pointing to my tiny noggin') will take longer than my healing everywhere else. It may be a daily struggle not to let this beast rule my thoughts. But I have faith. And I trust God. And I have confidence that each day it will occupy less of my gray matter.
xoxo
6 comments:
So good to hear from you Maureen. The way I look at it is that every day, for all of us, is a gift. Every day we should count our blessings and focus our energy into being positive and focusing on all the good things we have. Nobody, is promised tomorrow.
That always makes me feel better whenever I get worried about statistical data.
Is it as hot and humid in Texas as it is in Omaha NE, whew it is sweltering. I am sure the children are enjoying the Summer and having plenty of pool time.
Love Barbara
Ditto Barbara, Maureen. Your "attitude for gratitude" inspires me to do the same. Every day I am grateful for what I have, even simple things.
And as for the "pathetic blogger" statement, be kind to yourself. We love it when you blog; we understand when you do not!
Keep on keepin' on!
Lori N.
Maureen, I'm not a doctor, except the one I play on TV, so I'll let you and Dr. Grant figure out your treatment.
I think about you every day and love reading your posts.
Love,
Martha
You are a true inspiration, I think of you and the kids often and appreciate your sharing your life with us.
God Bless
It must be hard not to feel scared, but blogging helps to get the feelings out:) You have been through a lot, and you got through a lot...that is exactly where God wants you:) Keep the faith...it can move a mountain.... and it is healing you! I have been following your blog for a long time and you are an amazing woman and God uses you and He is going to continue to do so! Your babies need you! Thank you for your blog!
You are right on Maureen....how incredible to be cancer free.....there are stats for EVERYTHING- when we do look at the stats I think we must only decide where we are going to be on that curve....you can decide to be one of the mass or you can decide to be on the rare case etc. "anticancer" is a great book written by a Doc 2 time stage 4 brain cancer survivor(I may have shared this, but chemo brain...:) )that is how he explains to look at stats if you look at them at all...it is a very interesting book.
You are in great hands and doing all you can you are going to get there...look how far you have come already....you are getting eyebrows....come on that is huge.
I will share with you that I have recently been 2 years since my last chemo infusion(herceptin)....soon I pray I will be at my 2 year free of cancer date remission and you will be there too in no time. Keep the good flowing faith means so much...your kiddos and positive attitude towards treatment and the future...you got it all.....the fear comes and it is natural just do not let it stick around too long......worrying about things beyond our control well it is just a waste of time huh??? I am with you and think about you often....fists up girl...so so proud and your kiddos are just delicious!!
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