Tuesday, January 20, 2009

More decisions...

Yesterday went well with Dr. Grant. The man is wonderful...so intense, in your face, close talking, laser focus eye contact. Those may not sound like great traits. But with him you just come away feeling like you are the only patient he has and possible the only person in the universe. He cares so much.

He is also very optimistic about how I am responding to my treatments. He does not think the tumor is gone. His feeling is that my cancer all along has been a "tricky one" that hides very well. But, as he says, "after surgery you will be cancer free". So that is great.

Sooooooooo, the surgery....oh my....it is so incredibly daunting. I just want to have the mastectomy, heal and then be done with it. And that can happen if I opt to not reconstruct. If I am going to have reconstruction then there are actually 3 surgeries I have to have: the mastectomy, the latissimus dorsi flap transfer/graft and then the reconstruction. All 3 have a 6 - 8 week recovery time. And many months in between each procedure. Oh vey!!!

I really can't think about it too much because it is overwhelming. I know I will make the right decision when the time gets close. I just need to pray and keep researching options and educate myself to the teeth....and trust.

xoxo

3 comments:

Susie said...

I know women who have chosen reconstruction and those who have not. Both are happy with their decisions, and you will be too. Could you wait awhile after the mastectomy to decide, or is it something that has to be decided before the initial surgery? Regardless, you're in my prayers. I'm so glad your treatment is going well and know you'll be so glad to get this behind you. Take care--sending hugs from Oklahoma . . .

Anonymous said...

Having lugged around these useless knockers my whole life (ok, they came in handy when I had to feed the children years ago), the thought of me entering a room before my boobs is quite tempting. But, I honestly don't know what I would do, either, and your heart will tell you when it's time. If no, perhaps becoming a marthon runner is in your future. If yes, you get to buy fancy new bras. Love and kisses to you!!! --Janice.

Anonymous said...

Do not stress right now one step at a time. There are so many options for reconstruction or NOT. I had reconstruction with Mast. expanders then infection and had removed......I had no boobies for quite some time and eventually decided for my own reasons DIEP surgery. You know you do not have to do it quickly,....you can wait and do it any time it is the law that you have the option to reconstruction now or 10 yrs from now.You will decide what is best for you. Talk to other patients and patients of the Doctor you are now working with...research and prayer are the best and not feeling rushed. At the time of my mast. I think I just wanted to wake up kind of think nothing happened....denial?? I do not know...I was fine after the expanders were removed...no worry it will be as it should and fists up to tricky cancer...lets beat it good!!