"I can do all things through Christ

who strengthens me"

Philippians 4:13

Sharpie

My sister was having a bit of permanent marker issues this morning. It reminded me of this photo someone sent me a long time ago. Can you imagine!?!?!? Hopefully this marker was washable. LOL

Click on the photo to view it closer detail.

Anyway, I wanted to share an evil little laugh with you all this morning.

xoxo

I laughed, I cried....

...but mostly I have been absolutely speechless for most of the afternoon (in itself such a rare thing). What has caused this emotion eruption of the very best kind, you ask. Well, it is a little something called a VOICE QUILT. And there is nothing little about it. It is one of the greatest, most wonderful packages I think I have ever received.

Susan, thank you for making this happen.

Oh, you guys....you have no idea how much this gift meant to me. I am simply blown away. I wish I could reach out and personally touch each of you the way you have touched me. Your kind words and songs and jokes and stories have fueled me like never before. Your timing is great as I have been struggling. I am just flabbergasted. It is so wonderful.

You, my dear friends and family, are the reason I can endure. You support me, you hold me up, you sustain me, you bolster me, you encourage me, and you love me. For this and for all you do, I am forever grateful!

xoxo

I am cancer-free. That is not a clinical or pathological finding but rather a Maureen know-it-in-my-heart-and-guts-and-bones diagnosis. But I have to have my surgery and complete my treatments that will go through December or January...then the doctors will confirm what I already know.

I know you all know how serious I am taking this clinical trial. It is such a source of pride for me. My success will really help this project, I am sure of it. And while the Tykerb is not a new drug, this protocol (neoadjunct) could save lives. I truly believe it. And in God's Plan, maybe this was my purpose. But I have hit a bit of a wall. I feel toxic....seriously noxious is just the best way to describe how I have felt the last several weeks. The diarrhea, the mouth sores, the bad taste in my mouth and horrid breath, the fatigue, the lack of taste, the bumps all over my face and body, and the coup de grâce for me was losing a toe nail. Gross. We all know our bodies and mine is screaming "enough!". I have had another break from the pills (4 days now) but I start up again tomorrow. I dread waking up to take them in the morning.

So I saw Dr. O’Shaughnessy yesterday and had my chemo. My blood work shows I am very anemic, hence my recent extreme fatigue. They also think I will have a 2 hour drip of magnesium in my port later this week or during my chemo next week to help with other deficiencies. So starting an Iron supplement and the magnesium drip will help. But I have done so well so far. Hell, I made it through not 1 but 2 bouts of flu with the kids and never got it. Seriously!!! That is amazing and I thank God for my wonderful body and for taking care of me through all this. And most importantly...I AM IN THE HOMESTRETCH. I have 5 months of these drugs under my belt and only 5 weeks left to go! yahoooooooo!!!

Thank you all for your loving support....I am so very grateful. You carry me. You are the reason for my success and that is the truth!

xoxo

Long time, no talk...

It feels like a long time but I guess it was just a week. I missed everyone.
So, we are back from our adventure. Here's the scoop. Last year, a lifetime ago, I have booked a Springbreak trip for me and the kids to go to Atlantis. Oscar and I went when he was 3 years old and it was glorious. We had a great time. Oscar even snorkled like a CHAMP! Here he is, my brave little fish.


Anyway, the closer the trip got the more it seemed we would not be able to go. For starters, I thought I was getting money BACK on my taxes, but instead I owe. Aughhhh! Then my oncologist said that I cannot leave the country. So we switched to Destin, Florida to stay closer to home and to save money.

It was ambitious of me. Really. I guess I have such grandiose illusions that I can do anything. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. It just does not occur to me that traveling through airports and renting a car and lugging all our bags and 2 kids is something that will be hard. Forget the fact that I had chemo on Monday and left on Tuesday. It was very hard getting there and very, very hard getting home. But worth it! We spent several days on the beach, took a boat ride, saw dolphins swimming in the wild, made sandcastles, buried each other in the sand and just had a great time. I am most proud of myself for not freaking out about spending the money. Okay, well maybe a little bit...

Walking throught the airport Oscar's front tooth FINALLY fell out so that was fun too!
Another really neat thing that happened was we meet a nice couple on the beach. I had forgotten my camera (chemo brain). So this incredibly nice, sweet woman...a survivor sister...started taking pictures of us. She is going to share the photos with me so I will post them also. People are so kind!!! Here are some pictures to share from my fancy disposible camera in the meantime.

Love to you all!

xoxo

Notice the frighteningly tiny head in the sand...? That's me.

Those are DOLPHIN in the water!

Mommy sandwich

Sometime between 3:30 a.m. and 5:30 a.m. I became a mommy sandwich, with a little dumpling on each side of me. I loved it. I laid (or is it layed?) there for hours (literally) soaking up their sweetness, listening to them breath and praying. What a great way to spend time with God.

I am off to chemo this morning. I can't wait to show Priscilla my latest batch of acne, which the oncologists call a rash. Between you and me, it is just pimples (nice, huh?) that pop up (sorry, poor choice of words....lol) despite a great and diligent facial cleansing routine. I am wearing it with pride. Every one of my doctors has said the same thing about the "rash". It is a sign the medicine is working. And I get to re-live my teenage years.

xoxo

Cold & rainy

Yesterday marks the start of my kid's Spring Break. I will have chemo on Monday instead of Tuesday. Then I am taking the kids on a little adventure next week. I hope I feel okay. My bones have started hurting. I take lots of hot baths. I can add ibuprofen when necessary...and I won't hesitate to if I get too achy.

Monday should be fun at chemo because Carrie, Julie and I are taking Angelica with us. She will be a delight to all those people waiting to get treatments. She will be even more amusing than the therapy dogs they bring in.

I hope everyone has a good weekend. It is cold here and has been raining all week. We need the rain.

Love to you all

xoxo

Where oh where...

...could my cell phone be...

In case you have texted me or called my cell, I did not get your messages. I will be without a cell phone for a while. I will let you know when I have a new one.

xoxo

UPDATE: I just talked to my friend and co-worker that handles all our telecom. I had insurance so a new phone will be here tomorrow. You rock, Kim! Thank you!!

Striking twice...and shout out for Lorrie!

I cannot even believe it. Oscar is sick again. He is really puny. Monday morning about 5:30 am he woke with a very high fever and croupy cough. All day yesterday and today he has been spiking the super high temps, like 105 again. He has been sleeping for almost 3 hours this afternoon. That is very unlike him...the energizer bunny.

I know there were some kids at school that were sick. I am keeping him home again tomorrow. I do not want to expose anyone to this....it is not fair.

This will be the true test of my white blood cell strength and immune system stamina. Lets see if I can avoid this for the second time. I accept the challenge. :-)

Chemo went good today. My dear friend Linda rearranged her whole day to be with me. I LOVE spending time with her so it was a great day! I actually got to go to chemo even though I had a sick, sick little boy at home. Ya know why...? Two words: LOR.RIE !!! (or Lorly as Angelica calls her). My dear, sweet, ever-faithful, unwaveringly supportive, sister-like friend Lorrie hopped into her car and came to the rescue early this morning. Not only did she give up her whole, precious day but I came home to an immaculate house. I did my best not to gush my thanks to Lorrie and/or Linda...instead I tried to bask in the love they poured over me today. You girls are so wonderful...thank you so much for lightening my load today!

xoxo

Bring The Rain

"Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings your glory

And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain"


Mercy Me, "Bring the Rain"

Great weekend

My dear, sweet friend Aimee came here from New York to spend the weekend with me. What makes her gesture to be with me so remarkable is that she has 4 beautiful babies and her terrific husband George...all at home this weekend without her.

Aimee was my first friend in Texas when I moved here. That was 18 years ago. Jeepers! Time flies. Meeting Aimee opened up a whole world of wonderfulness for me in Dallas. She is my social hub. I still reminisce with friends about how we met and 9 times outta 10 the answer is "through Aimee". Aimee and I met on a blind date. lol That sounds funny. She was on a blind date with a guy who was friends with the guy I was on a blind date with ... so it was a double blind date but the guys knew each other. Her guy was 7 feet tall. No...seriously...he was a little over 7 feet tall. He was that tall... and an overall huge guy. At some point during dinner Aimee asked him if he was anatomically correct. I cracked up and loved her instantly and we have been dear friends ever since. It is so awesome having her here. It is so easy and fun and relaxing and wonderful! She is great friend!!!

Oscar has been enjoying the Wii and is great at it. But what I love is that even when he is losing at Tankers he is laughing...! BTW, notice no more shag rug in the room. Oddie the Peeing Puppy wins. The rug losses and is in the garage until I can get it thoroughly cleaned, sanitized, deodorized, ionized, sterilized...and just unstinkified.

Hope you had a great weekend.

xoxo

Three amigas

Tuesdays chemo went well with the company of my sweet friends Janet and Johnna. They were with me for the whole day.....they got to meet Dr. O, we had a picnic on the floor of the lobby, they made instant friends with people in the infusion waiting area, and they even hung around once I zonked out from the pre-drugs! Of course, once I heard a camera click I had to convey my wish for the world from under the covers.




I was able to ask Dr. O a lot of questions this time. She was her typical kind but forthright self. My specific cancer diagnosis is (I will say "was", since I am so close to being past tense) Stage IIIc and HER2 +++. The triple positive was the worrisome part but it doesn't matter since I will soon be well.


The one burning question I had for her had to do with the risk of reoccurance and living with the fear. I loved her answer. Very Zen-like. She said the fear is a part of how your body deals with this. Don't repress or deny it...that is not realistic. Let it in but then let it go. And in time those thoughts will come less frequent. I will not let it rule me. And it helps that they will be scanning the be-jeebers outta me every 3 months. lol


My love to you all!

Nightly pills

I started back up on my nightly chemo pills last night. I am going to work out a strict probiotic schedule along with a very careful diet. I only have 2 more months on these pills. I can do this!!!!!!

On another topic... Anyone want a Corgi? He has many talents including climbing up on a 38" countertop. I guess I don't really mind him up there since at least I know he is not peeing on the carpet.

xoxo