Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I am cancer-free. That is not a clinical or pathological finding but rather a Maureen know-it-in-my-heart-and-guts-and-bones diagnosis. But I have to have my surgery and complete my treatments that will go through December or January...then the doctors will confirm what I already know.

I know you all know how serious I am taking this clinical trial. It is such a source of pride for me. My success will really help this project, I am sure of it. And while the Tykerb is not a new drug, this protocol (neoadjunct) could save lives. I truly believe it. And in God's Plan, maybe this was my purpose. But I have hit a bit of a wall. I feel toxic....seriously noxious is just the best way to describe how I have felt the last several weeks. The diarrhea, the mouth sores, the bad taste in my mouth and horrid breath, the fatigue, the lack of taste, the bumps all over my face and body, and the coup de grĂ¢ce for me was losing a toe nail. Gross. We all know our bodies and mine is screaming "enough!". I have had another break from the pills (4 days now) but I start up again tomorrow. I dread waking up to take them in the morning.

So I saw Dr. O’Shaughnessy yesterday and had my chemo. My blood work shows I am very anemic, hence my recent extreme fatigue. They also think I will have a 2 hour drip of magnesium in my port later this week or during my chemo next week to help with other deficiencies. So starting an Iron supplement and the magnesium drip will help. But I have done so well so far. Hell, I made it through not 1 but 2 bouts of flu with the kids and never got it. Seriously!!! That is amazing and I thank God for my wonderful body and for taking care of me through all this. And most importantly...I AM IN THE HOMESTRETCH. I have 5 months of these drugs under my belt and only 5 weeks left to go! yahoooooooo!!!

Thank you all for your loving support....I am so very grateful. You carry me. You are the reason for my success and that is the truth!

xoxo

10 comments:

Mets Fan Rachel said...

Maureen, You inspire me every day! I am so proud of you and in awe of you! Much love, Rachel Levine

Anonymous said...

Maureen, yes you can do this! I will be counting down the 5 weeks with you! Please call me if you need anything! I'm so glad you had a wonderful week at the beach. Whenever you're feeling down, just close your eyes and bring yourself back to that warm sunny place. :)

Hugs,
Elaine
(Your Dallas Survivor Sister)

Anonymous said...

Only 5 weeks to go- that's marvelous!!! I'll drink to that. Good for you, I am SOOO pleased. I know you will be too when you don't have to take those dreadful pills anymore. Hang in there!
Julie S

Martha said...

Maureen, you never cease to amaze me. I think about you several times a day and continue to visualize you cancer-free. I'm so glad it's true! The rest of the treatments are just to make the doctors feel better, right?
Love,
Martha

Anonymous said...

Five weeks will fly by! You are so strong! I'm saying extra prayers for you!!

Janine

Anonymous said...

Go Maureen! We're all rooting for you every step of the way!

Kieran said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kieran said...

Maureen, I know it in my heart too...you are cancer-free. You are truly in the homestretch!!! You are giving so much in this trial to help others learn from this experience - that is so amazing. Remember that German Shepherd - your body is a rock! So strong, so resilient. Miss you and much love -

Anonymous said...

We agree--you are cancer FREE! The side effects felt by your body are only temporary. Your body is SO resilient and you will CONQUER and emerge from this so much stronger than ever before!! Maureen, thank you for sharing this journey with us... You are such an inspiration to so many. God bless,

Chris

Anonymous said...

You are a champ and the clinical trial you are doing is so important for the now and the future, we must always remeber this as we move further towards cures it is others that took the "risks" of figuring out how much is too much etc....you are one of those women. I am with you...you are cancer free and lets just decide right now cancer will not knock on your door ever again!!! I always lost my big toe nail....infact I still do....it tries to grow back then off it goes....at this point it is ok with me.

Anemia is so hard and the sores....I know you just want to "flush" your system. The iron will help I am on mass dose iron also b/c my hemoglobin has been a problem all along....Monday...I finally hit a low normal, but a normal the first in at least 2 yrs and that was after 3 months of mass dose...so I hope it will help. The Mag will help also....so these are all good things...I now drink a natural Mag in warm water each night!! You are doing all the right things....are you taking sweat baths?? Apple cider vinegar baths...hot? these will both help to de-tx you I did these regularly and still do several times a month. You may know all these things I just want to reach out and make you feel better. Remeber to lay down and take 10 of the deepest breath's that you can slowly in and out and fill your lungs completely...do this twice a day it will lift your spirits and oxegenate your body.

I am so proud of you...you are in the final stretch I mean can you believe how far through treatments you are??? It is a celebration and when you are done ring that bell and dance and sing!! At my chemo lab they had a big bell to ring after your last chemo and everyone clapped and danced (if they could get up)...it was so understood amongst each one of us what it meant to get to this place...you are on your way...fists up we never never give up!!!! God teaches us grace each day!!! Big hearts and hugs, JoAnna